The Unbitten Onion

Synopsis

When 100 senators play Red Rover... when dogs pee on moving joggers... when conspiracy theories arise over the Bush Shoe Incident, and Gallagher flips out and attacks the crowd with his Sledge-O-Matic, you have a truth in the purest form. In the format of the lying news company that produces The Onion, you have the only thing better; The Unbitten Onion.

Thirty-four articles that will make your stomach hurt, your cheeks burn, and your friends look at you with mercy, The Unbitten Onion is a book that you should only read with a phone nearby (and in the event you forget, the numbers are 9, 1, and 1).